Ninja Creep: Middle School Edition

If you have children, you may know the ninja creep. It's when, after you get the baby/child to sleep, you have to creep like a silent, stealthy ninja out of their bedroom, lest ye step on a creaky floorboard and wake the child you spent 45 minutes getting to sleep. In fact, I just did the ninja creep out of my 17 month old's room so I could write this blog post.

Two days ago I had to demonstrate the ninja creep to my middle school students. At the end of every day, we stack chairs so the custodian can sweep the floors. My students have started stacking chairs so loudly, slamming the plastic and metal contraptions down really hard. It's crazy-making, really, to end my day that way. I've tried various threats and explanations to no avail.

On Monday I stopped their stair-chacking cacophony and said, "Guys!  GUYS! You are so loud!  Wait- watch this.  Let me show you how I ninja creep out of my baby's room after I get her to sleep. This is how quietly you should be able to move."

And then I painstakingly showed them- "So I start heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere-" slowly picking up my foot while extending my arms out to the side for balance- creeeeeeeeeep- "then I take a step"- creeeeeeeeeeeeeeep -

They think I'm done, and they try to start stacking chairs again.  "No, no!" I scream, 'cause now I'm really into my ninja creep. "I'm not done!!!" Their bodies sag as they realize I intend to show them the WHOLE process.

"So, I have to slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwly move my body"- creeeeeeeeeeeeep- "and then, there's a GATE at her door, so I have to cliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimb that" - one foot lifted high, creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep, shift body weight, other foot lifting high over imaginary gate, creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep- "and THEN, after I'm over the gate, I have to CLOSE the door--"

"Noooooooooo!!!!" they all shout.

"Oh yes!" I scream back, remaining in ninja creep position.  "We are not done here!" I pause a moment and wait for silence.  "So, after I'm over the gate, I have to slowwwwwwwwwly turn my body, making sure my ring doesn't scrape the door"- creeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.  Then I take pity on them and end my demonstration. "My point is, if I can do that, SURELY you can stack one little chair almost silently. Pretend my baby is sleeping."

Of course they exploded in excited chatter about babies, and chairs, and their baby brothers, but the chairs themselves were pleasantly quiet.  They stacked the chairs like ninjas two days in a row.  It was impressive.

I have to remember to emphasize the ninja creep again at the end of the day today.  Yesterday I said, "OK let's stack chairs!  And remember- the baby's sleeping."

Hmmmm, I'm picturing a ninja creep competition.  But you know I'd win.