Getting Into Triathlons: Exercises in Embarrassment

I've been meaning to post for a while about how getting into triathlon has been a series of embarrassing events/purchases/conversations.  A stronger person might not survive it. It takes a lot to embarrass me.  Still, I admit this tested me.

First incident: buying bike shorts, and having to ask the guy at the store "Do these fit right." Bike shorts have this crazy pad in the butt.

Second incident: buying a wetsuit, and having to model it in front of the store's owner, who organizes one of the local triathlons, and asking, "Is this too tight."
Him, eyeing me with what appeared to be horror, disdain, or possibly total lack of interest or care: "It's supposed to be tight."  (That was size large, by the way, that I had to grunt and contort myself to get into. I seem to be size large in all triathlon clothing, which makes me feel, well, LARGE.)
Oh, and I had to have another (male, of course) store employee zip me in AND out of the suit.

I won't bore you with all of my other clothing purchases and conversations about what type of sports bra is best (with a male employee of the triathlon store).

Let's instead go onto events.

Step 32: learn to ride w/ kid (husband's bike with normal pedals )

So, I bought clipless pedals for my road bike, because those are supposed to be better on your body and make your pedaling much more efficient.  With clipless pedals, you buy special shoes that lock into your special pedals.  Fine, did that.  I learned how to take my feet off the pedals by twisting my ankle out to undo the locking mechanism. Good, good job KO.  Then, on one ride, coming to a stop sign, I tried to unclip myself and MY FOOT WOULDN'T COME OUT.  I kept trying to rip my ankle out, and it wouldn't budge, and I HAD to stop since I was coming up to a busy road.  Just as I was starting to fall over, I managed to WRENCH my other foot out and catch myself.  I got myself home and went online to youtube to figure out how to adjust clipless pedals, because I remembered when the guy put them on that he had adjusted something.  I tried to adjust the little turny thing to a spot that matched the pedal that I HAD been able to get myself out of, but it was still almost impossible to get my foot out. I called the bike store and explained the problem.
"There's a spot to turn to adjust it," the guy said.
"Oh, I did that. It still doesn't work."
"Huh. That's really the only thing it can be. Well, bring it in, we'll take a look."
So, I had to wait until the next weekend to bring the bike in since my work weeks are busy. I brought the bike in and explained the problem to yet another bike person.  He took a look at it.  "Yeah, you have it adjusted to the tightest setting."  He took an Allen key, turned it a few times, and said, "That should work."  Yup.

One experience I had was good.  I signed up with a local triathlon club and emailed them about coming to an open water swim at 5:45.  "Wait for me," the swim coach emailed back. "I'll go into the water with you." So, I got to do my first open water swim with a woman who has done Kona!  (Kona, as in Ironman World Championships in Hawaii!) That was great.  She seemed to think I was going to freak out about being in the water in my wetsuit (first time using the wetsuit!) but I felt really good.  I guess panic attacks are sort of common, so she was keeping an eye on me to make sure I wasn't going to freak out. I even managed to swim a half a mile, all the way to the seventh buoy and back.  I took many stops, but still, I was in the open water, and I moved a half a mile... I call that a half mile open water swim, baby!

Now, the part where I had to get INTO my wetsuit, in front of several (male, of course!) triathletes who were, I'm sure, training for Ironmans... maybe a little embarrassing, but by this point I'd come to expect total embarrassment, so mild embarrassment is no biggie.

There may have been one other not-as-embarrassing incident.  I signed up for swim lessons at a local pool to figure out what the hell was wrong with my swim stroke, and that was a huge help.  I had run into a coworker at the pool, and ended up swimming beside him. I noticed that I swam way faster than him, but could only do one lap without stopping to gasp for breath.  He was swimming super slow, but swimming for like, 10 laps before taking a break.  I tried to swim slow like he was, but I sank, so I started thinking, I must be doing something wrong if I have to swim so fast to stay afloat.  That's when I called up the swim coach.  I learned that I wasn't gliding or rotating my body side to side.  Fixing that had an immediate effect, and swimming was so much easier and therefore more fun. That felt good, too. I was successful at something! And that's why I want to get into triathlon. I want to learn something and be successful.

I like to think of all these little events as steps, 1, 3, 10, 15, etc. on my 10,000 step, 10 year Ironman plan. That's right!  I'm aiming high.  I see people doing Ironmans, and I'm like, "Why can't that be me?"  It might take a while, but I do think I can eventually swim 2 miles, ride 110 or whatever, and... well, the marathon at the end is the only thing I worry about.  I'm a horrible runner. My body breaks down very easily.  My feet are structurally bad (bunions) and I seem to have a slipped disc in my back... but a girl's gotta have goals.  OK, maybe I'll settle for a half-Ironman!