Lane Words at 2 years

Lane words at 14 mo: hi, mama, dada, dog, nose, toes, phone, all done, baby, more, Katie, shoes, book, belly, oh no. Cracker, sippy cup, eyes, spoon, Chee (Cheerios), coffee, Amy, bowl, up, water, mine, Elmo, toys. She also says some of her daycare classmates names (Emma, Charlie). Open, Joey, teeth, jump, meow, clap

15 mo

Ball pancake cookie batman close Lanie

15.5

Open close 

Spiders: They're Pretty Much Everywhere

Does anyone else do "Spider Checks?"

You know... you wake up and stumble into the kitchen. Of course, the coffee maker reservoir is empty, so you grab the water pitcher, go to the sink, and start filling it.  Suddenly, you sense there is a spider nearby! You quickly glance up to the light above the sink, the corners of the cabinets, and the ceiling.  Whew.  No spider this time.  

Yesterday I went out to get the mail, forgetting that my husband had freaked out a couple of days earlier when he saw a giant spider in a web by the mailbox.  I reached for the mailbox beside the front door just as I spotted the spider.  I retracted my hand as I squeaked out, "Eeee-eeee-eee-yah!"  I bravely got the mail anyway, postponing a decision about what to do about that large, light orange spider.

I've got a whole litany of spider stories.

That morning, age 24, when I stumbled into the bathroom in the morning to take a shower and spotted a HUGE spider chilling in the tub.  I hustled back into my bedroom, grabbed my "Spiders of the Northeast" book, and went back into the bathroom to identify the beast: Wolf Spider, scary-looking but harmless. I probably used my "cup and piece of paper" spider-capturing method to put it outside.  What can I say, I'm the daughter of a zoologist.  We grew up identifying birds and spiders, rescuing turtles in the road and baby birds on the ground, and hatching tadpoles in the kitchen.

My News Headline Commentary

I was reading the news last night on my phone and found myself having reactions that I wanted to share.  I took a screenshot of each noteworthy article or headline and noted what I was thinking.  I reminded myself of Fred Armisen on SNL, with his nonsensical headline commentary, in the sense that I could only really think of one thing to say about each headline.

So, here, I'm thinking, Is this a spoof on the sometimes overly dramatic "Modern Love" columns?  It starts with the typical, "Fearful of repeating the same mistakes her mother made," and instead of the expected, "a woman must choose an unconventional path," it says, "a porn actress must choose between remaining unattached and financially independent or following her heart."

I mean, what? It sounds like an Onion spoof.

It's not labeled here as a Modern Love column in this screenshot, but if you go to the website, it IS sneakily labeled as Modern Love.  So this is just a regular old, overly dramatic, Modern Love column.

This one, I'm thinking, I love that Ina May,  one of the most experienced midwives in America, can only verbally throw up her hands in response to breastfeeding mothers being banned from swimming pools for fear of contaminating the water.

Naked Man: Was He Dancing or Jumping?

I smiled, then laughed out loud, at some of the lines in this report in the Stamford Advocate.  First of all, I love the headline: "Stamford man arrested for dancing nude in street."  Then, the text by John Nickerson, with my smiles and LOLs bolded:  

A city man believed by police to be high on a powerful hallucinogenic was arrested after police saw him dancing naked and doing pushups on Washington Boulevard early Wednesday...

When the officer got to the scene he found Green without a stitch of clothes on yelling and carrying on while jumping around in the middle of Washington Boulevard, Connelly said.

The officer approached Green to find out what was going on but Green would not say anything intelligible.

Green then jumped to the ground and performed seven perfectly formed pushups with his two hands. Connelly said.

I assume the great details of "without a stitch of clothes on yelling and carrying on while jumping around" came are from an interview. I absolutely love the way colloquial language made it into the article.  This, people, is how a newspaper should read!    

However, I'm wondering, was he "dancing" as the headline and lede said, or was he only "jumping around" as Connelly said?   I would like to know the answer to this.  

The detail of "seven" - seven!- "perfectly formed pushups with his two hands" also just communicates the absurdity of the situation.  Of course it's not so absurd that the guy had to be tasered to get him into the police car, but... 

Goodbye Breast Pump

I'm cleaning out baby stuff and for some reason can't bring myself to throw away the breast pump. It was both my buddy and my ball-and-chain, my pain in the butt and my helper. 

Ok now that I've said that, I think I can get rid of it. Thanks, breast pump, for helping me meet my breastfeeding goals! 

Um nope still haven't thrown it away. I'm sitting here looking at it.

Kristine, throw it away. If you have another baby, you can get a fancy new pump paid for by insurance...

Ok deep breath...

I'm just going to put it in the garbage bag, but keep the garbage bag in the house.

Puppies: Not as Glamorous as They Sound

Puppy.

The word sounds so fun and carefree.

Puppy.  Puppies!  We got a puppy!

The first day or two was euphoric.  The puppy was really cuddly and would want sit right beside us. We walked him in the backyard.  We played chase.  The kids took turns walking him.  We drove places in the car with him.  We didn't go out to eat so we could spend more time with the puppy.  We bought cute dog harnesses and toys at PetSmart.

Then reality set in and I realized just how much work this puppy was going to be.

When the dog peed on BOTH children's beds that first weekend, I said, "Good thing he's cute!"  His snuggles made up for all the times he had "accidents" on the floor.  Actually, he seems to think he is supposed to go to the bathroom indoors, which is FINE if he pees on the pad, but not if he goes over and pees near Lane's toy kitchen.  Or on the throw blanket.  Or on the couch.  Or on my husband's backpack.  Or on the new bathroom rug.  You get the picture.

My First Obsession

I'm supposed to be doing work on a newsletter, so of course I've found myself scrolling through my Picasa web albums.  I discovered one of my favorite photos; the one at the bottom of the post, but I like that the first three lead up to it... my total obsession with my first nephew, Jack.  If Jack and I were in the same place, I was all up in his grill from the minute he woke up to the time he went to bed, pretty much.  

My first birthday with Jack!  (My 28, maybe, but the first one where he was also alive.)

At my youngest sister's graduation from college!

At the beach in Massachusetts!

And my favorite: in the garage in Delaware, summer, not too long before Justin was born (at home, by accident, and it was totally awesome).  

I like this last photo because I'm clearly totally into whatever Jack is doing, plus my sister is pregnant and wearing compression hose.

Funny Q Quotes

2/17/14
Q: "And you really are kind of the worst mom ever."
10/6/13
Q to me, in car: You're so nice.
Me: Thanks, honey!
Q: But- sometimes you hurt my feelings. That means, you're not always so nice.
Me: I know, honey. Mommy isn't perfect.
Q: Only daddy is perfect, because he bes nice to me every day- but you're not.
6/22/13
Mommy punch me in the face right now.
What?
Punch me.
Honey, I'm not going to punch you.
2/10/13
Q: Mommy, what is Darth Vader's real name?
Me: I don't know, what is it?
Q: I don't know.
Corey: We're not going to tell you, because it will ruin Empire Strikes Back for you.
Me: You'll find out when you're older.
Q: It's Skywalker.
C: Dammit.
Me: Is it really?
C: How could you not know that?
12/21/12
Husband, about idea that all schools should have armed guards: "The only thing that would be more ridiculous is if the NRA said all teachers should have guns. But it would be cool to have a six shooter on your hip."
4/29/12
Just do you know, I don't think I can participate in this cloth diaper experiment.
Me: "Because?"
I have a weak stomach. I'm squeamish. I don't like icky things. I don't like poop.
I just want to be able to throw it away and forget about it.
I want nothing to do with poop.
That's why toilets were invented.

Brain Corral: Class Jobs, Cracking Myself Up

I am currently cracking myself up by assigning extremely detailed class jobs.  (Side note: I considered naming this blog Cracking Myself Up.  I often crack myself up. And, INCREDIBLY, the domain name crackingmyselfup.com is available.  Unfortunately, I have to consider the fact that my blog name has to sound SORT OF professional in case my students and their parents see this blog.  Plus, I always tell my principal about my blogs so I am in a state of full disclosure.)

I'll post the detailed list of class jobs later, but here's the basic list:
1. Light master- turns lights on and off, opens and closes door as class starts.  Five tickets per week. (I might give that second part to my Door Enforcer.  We'll see how the Light Masters do.)
2. Class Librarians (2).  Highly paid.  Ten tickets per week.
3. Technology Assistant.  4 tickets per week plus chance for overtime.
4. Supply Master- makes sure supply area is neat, that kids put tape and staplers back and do not use any supplies for unauthorized purposes.
5a. Planner assistant- reminds kids to copy HW and keep planner open.  Also dispenses bandaids as needed.
5b.Absence Keeper- writes kids names down who are absent and what work they need to do, plus put needed handouts in absence binder.
5c. Lost and Found Keeper- monitors lost and found area, returns items to owners, scans class for lost items.

Thursday Morning Brain Corral: Stress, Birds Chirply LOUDLY in Morning

I swear that there is this ONE bird who, as SOON as the sky starts to lighten, starts going, "CHIRP CHIRP!  CHIRP! CHIRP!"
The first time it happened, I was all like, "Ooooh, spring! Birds chirping!  Good morning, birds!"  A week later, I'm all like, "SHUT- UP."

Now, there are MORE birds.  So, the first guy goes, "CHIRP CHIRP!  CHIRP! CHIRP!"
Then his buddy answers, "Choo, Choo! Cha- chirp-chirpchirp-chirp-chirp-chirp-chirp!"
It's just obnoxious.

Enough about birds. Let's talk about stress.  I don't know if I've ever been under this amount of PROLONGED stress.  I've been in stressful days, stressful weeks, stressful situations, stressful times of life... but I've been stressed this whole school year. I am not sure if I'd have stopped to acknowledge that- who has the time?- but in all of my voice therapy sessions over the past 2 months, the theme of STRESS has come up from the very beginning:  I have a lot of tension in my neck and throat.  I tighten up when talking.  I have to consciously try to keep my jaw and my tongue loose and relaxed.

This week, we have determined, um, I am super stressed.  This realization came due to wine, pizza and friends.  As I told my voice therapist, "Usually at dinner I try to protect my voice and not talk too loud over the background noise.  But last week, after two glasses of wine, I was laughing, talking loudly to my friend over the noise of the restaurant and our loud kids... and my voice felt and sounded fine.  Am I crazy, or did the wine relax me enough to get rid of all that tension?"

Student Quotes 2012-2013

I discovered this list from last year and want to post it before I lose track of it.

"What are you doing?  You're acting like a two year old. You're sitting there doing nothing." - one of my students, who was often doing nothing, talking to two of my students who were among my most productive (all boys).

"I'm an underachiever."- A
"No you're not." - me

"You don't have to believe me, but I've seen a squirrel do a back flip. It was SICK."  - G, totally off topic during class.

"What's something like, REALLY bad, but not inappropriate."  -E, brainstorming comic ideas.