2/17/14
Q: "And you really are kind of the worst mom ever."
10/6/13
Q to me, in car: You're so nice.
Me: Thanks, honey!
Q: But- sometimes you hurt my feelings. That means, you're not always so nice.
Me: I know, honey. Mommy isn't perfect.
Q: Only daddy is perfect, because he bes nice to me every day- but you're not.
6/22/13
Mommy punch me in the face right now.
What?
Punch me.
Honey, I'm not going to punch you.
2/10/13
Q: Mommy, what is Darth Vader's real name?
Me: I don't know, what is it?
Q: I don't know.
Corey: We're not going to tell you, because it will ruin Empire Strikes Back for you.
Me: You'll find out when you're older.
Q: It's Skywalker.
C: Dammit.
Me: Is it really?
C: How could you not know that?
12/21/12
Husband, about idea that all schools should have armed guards: "The only thing that would be more ridiculous is if the NRA said all teachers should have guns. But it would be cool to have a six shooter on your hip."
4/29/12
Just do you know, I don't think I can participate in this cloth diaper experiment.
Me: "Because?"
I have a weak stomach. I'm squeamish. I don't like icky things. I don't like poop.
I just want to be able to throw it away and forget about it.
I want nothing to do with poop.
That's why toilets were invented.
Rounding Up the Thoughts of a Mom Teacher Writer
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Friday, April 25, 2014
Brain Corral: Class Jobs, Cracking Myself Up
I am currently cracking myself up by assigning extremely detailed class jobs. (Side note: I considered naming this blog Cracking Myself Up. I often crack myself up. And, INCREDIBLY, the domain name crackingmyselfup.com is available. Unfortunately, I have to consider the fact that my blog name has to sound SORT OF professional in case my students and their parents see this blog. Plus, I always tell my principal about my blogs so I am in a state of full disclosure.)
I'll post the detailed list of class jobs later, but here's the basic list:
1. Light master- turns lights on and off, opens and closes door as class starts. Five tickets per week. (I might give that second part to my Door Enforcer. We'll see how the Light Masters do.)
2. Class Librarians (2). Highly paid. Ten tickets per week.
3. Technology Assistant. 4 tickets per week plus chance for overtime.
4. Supply Master- makes sure supply area is neat, that kids put tape and staplers back and do not use any supplies for unauthorized purposes.
5a. Planner assistant- reminds kids to copy HW and keep planner open. Also dispenses bandaids as needed.
5b.Absence Keeper- writes kids names down who are absent and what work they need to do, plus put needed handouts in absence binder.
5c. Lost and Found Keeper- monitors lost and found area, returns items to owners, scans class for lost items.
I'll post the detailed list of class jobs later, but here's the basic list:
1. Light master- turns lights on and off, opens and closes door as class starts. Five tickets per week. (I might give that second part to my Door Enforcer. We'll see how the Light Masters do.)
2. Class Librarians (2). Highly paid. Ten tickets per week.
3. Technology Assistant. 4 tickets per week plus chance for overtime.
4. Supply Master- makes sure supply area is neat, that kids put tape and staplers back and do not use any supplies for unauthorized purposes.
5a. Planner assistant- reminds kids to copy HW and keep planner open. Also dispenses bandaids as needed.
5b.Absence Keeper- writes kids names down who are absent and what work they need to do, plus put needed handouts in absence binder.
5c. Lost and Found Keeper- monitors lost and found area, returns items to owners, scans class for lost items.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Thursday Morning Brain Corral: Stress, Birds Chirply LOUDLY in Morning
I swear that there is this ONE bird who, as SOON as the sky starts to lighten, starts going, "CHIRP CHIRP! CHIRP! CHIRP!"
The first time it happened, I was all like, "Ooooh, spring! Birds chirping! Good morning, birds!" A week later, I'm all like, "SHUT- UP."
Now, there are MORE birds. So, the first guy goes, "CHIRP CHIRP! CHIRP! CHIRP!"
Then his buddy answers, "Choo, Choo! Cha- chirp-chirpchirp-chirp-chirp-chirp-chirp!"
It's just obnoxious.
Enough about birds. Let's talk about stress. I don't know if I've ever been under this amount of PROLONGED stress. I've been in stressful days, stressful weeks, stressful situations, stressful times of life... but I've been stressed this whole school year. I am not sure if I'd have stopped to acknowledge that- who has the time?- but in all of my voice therapy sessions over the past 2 months, the theme of STRESS has come up from the very beginning: I have a lot of tension in my neck and throat. I tighten up when talking. I have to consciously try to keep my jaw and my tongue loose and relaxed.
This week, we have determined, um, I am super stressed. This realization came due to wine, pizza and friends. As I told my voice therapist, "Usually at dinner I try to protect my voice and not talk too loud over the background noise. But last week, after two glasses of wine, I was laughing, talking loudly to my friend over the noise of the restaurant and our loud kids... and my voice felt and sounded fine. Am I crazy, or did the wine relax me enough to get rid of all that tension?"
The first time it happened, I was all like, "Ooooh, spring! Birds chirping! Good morning, birds!" A week later, I'm all like, "SHUT- UP."
Now, there are MORE birds. So, the first guy goes, "CHIRP CHIRP! CHIRP! CHIRP!"
Then his buddy answers, "Choo, Choo! Cha- chirp-chirpchirp-chirp-chirp-chirp-chirp!"
It's just obnoxious.
Enough about birds. Let's talk about stress. I don't know if I've ever been under this amount of PROLONGED stress. I've been in stressful days, stressful weeks, stressful situations, stressful times of life... but I've been stressed this whole school year. I am not sure if I'd have stopped to acknowledge that- who has the time?- but in all of my voice therapy sessions over the past 2 months, the theme of STRESS has come up from the very beginning: I have a lot of tension in my neck and throat. I tighten up when talking. I have to consciously try to keep my jaw and my tongue loose and relaxed.
This week, we have determined, um, I am super stressed. This realization came due to wine, pizza and friends. As I told my voice therapist, "Usually at dinner I try to protect my voice and not talk too loud over the background noise. But last week, after two glasses of wine, I was laughing, talking loudly to my friend over the noise of the restaurant and our loud kids... and my voice felt and sounded fine. Am I crazy, or did the wine relax me enough to get rid of all that tension?"
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